The Smartest Stem Cells In The Whole Wide World

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I stare at the IV bottle of embryonic stem cells running quickly down the tubing into my arm. Everything feels calm and music from my ipod is helping to escort my baby cells into my body. It feels like a movie scene where opera should be playing in the background. I close my eyes and try to visualize the stem cells working. My default vision is of tiny little sea monkeys swimming (trust me, I’d never make this up) from damaged cell to damaged cell finding new cell homes to refurbish and rebuild. I try to get this crazy picture from my head, but the sea monkeys stay and I figure it’s not worth fighting.

I’ve had three days in a row of embryonic stem cells intravenously. I am exhausted like I have been working out aerobically for hours on end. Meanwhile, I haven’t left the hospital.

An hour later I am shaking uncontrollably in my room, which since I’ve turned off the A/C, feels like a sauna. The space between my body and the heavy blanket draped over me still does not contain enough heat to stop the shivering. My jaw is causing my teeth to chatter and bang against each other. My body is flooded with aches and although it hurts, I’m not bothered.

“My baby stem cells are so smart,” I declare in my head. The tone I tell myself this in is consistent with that of a proud parent. My new babies are intuitive and ambitious. They have good follow-through and discipline. They do what they are supposed to. Could I ask for anything more?

One of the many amazing things about embryonic stem cells is that after being introduced into the body, they have the ability to find and repair damaged cells. Understanding this process is one thing. Feeling this happening is absolutely unreal beyond explanation.

After I get an IV infusion, I consistently experience what scientists speak about as a “homing in” capability. The severity of the experience depends on a few factors, but it’s always there to some extent. The fascinating part to me, is that the places in my body that I know suffered the most damage on the hellish ride through Chronic Lyme Disease; are the places where I feel the aching at a more dramatic intensity. I know my stem cells have somehow found their way to the most damaged parts of my body and they are working hard to fix them.

I remember years ago through an intensive treatment I was taking to repair my immune system, the same thing would happen. When I would report back to my neurologist the following day after an infusion, he would smile with glee when I told him how horrible the treatment would make me feel. It was a blood product that helped with repair of the immune system (obviously not enough for me, but it tried). He told me that the infusion would stimulate the immune and nervous systems causing the upheaval I felt in my body. He would always boast about how great it was that I felt so bad. Don’t you love doctors?

With some help from my second floor surrogate mother, I managed to get through the day. She got me chocolate soymilk from my stash in the closet, when my legs buckled at my independent attempt. And more importantly, she (probably falsely) reassured me that I didn’t look as bad as I felt. Five hours later, my body feels like it’s settling now. My A/C is running at a normal temperature, and I am not shivering under a blanket. I did not call any doctors because I know this is somewhat of a healing crisis. After reading this on my blog, I am certain they will reprimand me for not calling them. But, I knew I was safe. I knew it would pass. I am “Dr. Amy” as they jokingly refer to me, and I knew there wasn’t anything that needed to be done.

My chicken flavored cup of soup is now steeping on the small countertop I have in my room. And aside from feeling like I’ve missed a day of life here in India, all is well. The horns are still honking and the sweepers are still outside redistributing dirt in the streets. Life just moves right along. I’ll jump back in when I can.

The IV infusions, although temporarily debilitating, always leave me feeling stronger and healthier. Clichés like “No pain, no gain” run through my head. Everything can make so much sense sometimes. And in a life where almost nothing made sense for far too long, I welcome whatever healing crises may come my way. Believe it or not, it is even true if that means suffering through visions of sea monkeys dancing in my head.

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About Amy B. Scher

A passionate author, pioneering patient, and sassy spirit with just enough sweetness to get me by, I live by my self-created motto: when life kicks your ass, kick back.Amy B. Scher's profile Amy B. Scher's blog