Dear Me,

Happy Birthday!

I can’t believe I know that I will wake up tomorrow, on my big day, in no pain. It seems celebration days were always the worst. I’m not sure what kind of lesson that could have been but the dependability of the pattern was uncanny.

So many birthdays spent in bed and cakes I could never eat because of allergies....and some years, forks too heavy to lift to my mouth even if I could.

But now….. I can stand up. Eat pizza and cake. Jump up and down with a party hat on if I want to. Go out of the house and walk for miles. Not worry about painkillers and medicine bottles and timers for taking it all. No nausea from medicine and no headaches either. No tears for moments I know I am missing, and guilt for the happy ones I see that are absent from the faces of my oh-so-patient and dedicated loved ones.

But do you know what the absolute best part of my 29th year is?

I am alive.

And that for the first birthday in a very long time, there is not a thought in my mind that I might not be here for many, many, many more years to come.

Love,

Me