As my words finally make it out into the world (in print!), I sit here and reflect on all that I have learned. I wonder how I can capture it all and bottle it, so I never forget. Not even 50 years from now.
The suffering I endured from Chronic Lyme disease and all of my other diagnoses, is something that that I'd never give back now. For so much of where my life has landed came from flying blindly through all of those years.
Here are the top 5 things I now know for sure:
1. You WILL survive, and even thrive. It will feel like you won't and that feeling will linger for days and hours and years maybe. But it will pass. Close your eyes and imagine the storm of your illness as the wind. Wind always, always moves. And this time in your life-full of doubt and defeat-will too.
2. You will feel misunderstood, but it's for a purpose. Part of healing, emotionally and physically, is unplugging from judgments and attachments of what other people think of you. You have to feel misunderstood to work through why it doesn't really matter if you are. When you finally get to that point, you will feel a freedom that will be worth it all...
3. You will learn to let go. You will have to in order to move forward. You will one day see that all that you tried to control and analyze and make sense of, only tied up your energy. You will learn to trust yourself and as you do, you will truly begin to heal.
4. You will learn you have WAY more power than you think. You will realize that the only person victimizing you when you have the victim mentality, is yourself. You will come to see that even though you feel powerless, there is always something you can do to move yourself forward. It won't be easy, but it is your job, and until you are accountable for that job, you will always be waiting for someone else to fix you.
5. You will become someone you truly love. After you see that you survived, made peace with being misunderstood, learned to let go, and have taken your power back, you will find a self-love for your ever sparkly, kick-ass self, that you didn't have before. You will stop seeing yourself as a person who suffered, and you will see only that you simply, won your life back.
In my new book, This Is How I Save My Life, I write:
"You finally realize that your illness was more than just years of suffering. It was the metamorphosis into that which you were always meant to be."
May you see this time as a vessel to becoming all that you ever hoped to be. May you shed the layers that held you back. May you experience every adventure, including illness, in a way that helps you grow bigger and brighter. May 2013 be YOUR year.
*Amy's new book This Is How I Save My Life is available wherever books are sold. You can view the book trailer on her website, www.HowISaveMyLife.com.