This long journey has been full of so many things.....except one.
Closure.
But, today was my day.
I went back to finish what started so many years ago (covered in an obnoxious amount of tick spray of course).
I went back to the city where I now know that tiny tick bit me without my knowledge
In sunny Ojai, California, a place I still love
And stared at the crevices of a tree, deciphering which one could have housed the insect that changed my life forever
And then I kissed my days of illness goodbye in true Amy style
I ran around that symbolic tree as many times as I could (with my puppy following close behind)
Leaping over bushes and a broken sprinkler with an energy so all its own, I didn't know I posessed it until that very moment
I stomped all of those unpleasant memories back into the earth as hard as I could and put them to rest
Goodbye to the miserable days of pain and agony and longing for a cure or even a glimmer of hope
As I walked away, it finally felt over, like I was leaving even the presence of my energy there to blow away in the autumn breeze
I thought there would be sadness and maybe a few tears but there was nothing of the sort
Only pure joy as I ran and stomped on the feet that were too painful to even stand on at one point in my not so distant history
I breathe so many sighs of relief tonight
I feel lighter than I ever have
I would do this day over and over again a million times if I could
It's been one of the most healing of my life
The nightmare has ended and it is gone from my being
I'm awake and alive and well
And I have emerged a bigger, better person than I would have ever been if the disease that destroyed nearly all of me.....hadn't also allowed me to rebuild a life more beautiful than I could have ever imagined
Thank you to the person who journeyed with me to that tree today
And took pictures as I ran around it like a fool
You are an inspiration in more ways than you know
Nothing felt better than ending all of the pain and heartache there with you as my witness

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