A Little Light On The Path

There are several Lyme Disease patients receiving human embryonic stem cell treatment over in India now, and I feel this subtle yet frequent tug on my heart, as if part of me is literally with them. Through their struggles, I feel my own experiences re-emerge in my head….all of the things that kept me up at night wondering how this whole thing was going to turn out.

But, I’m wise enough to know, some of the suffering they are all experiencing, is part of the journey. Physical illness is never just physicial. And, I have never experienced anything more true or real than the "healing crisis" phenomenon.

Still, I empathize, even knowing they must go through this to get past this. The emotional ups and downs, the physical changes that feel so scary, the feelings that no one understands this complicated disease, the uncertainty about how and when to wean off of medications, the impact of Eastern culture and psychology that I know none of them expected, the fear of being so far away from the support team they normally fall back on like a soft pillow, the unspoken pressure to "get better" fast, the reality of knowing that if this is the last resort and it doesn't work, there may be nothing else left.

I was there, precisely in their shoes….their hospital beds…both literally and figuratively, feeling my way through what seemed like a path hardly lit enough to see even an inch of where I was going.

In between e-mails and phone calls of current patients in India and ones that are going to make the journey in the future, I often ponder how I can instill in them just a few of the things I learned that will make a huge difference in their time; without stepping on their own journeys.

It finally came to me.

I’m going to do what I do best.

I’m going to write.

My one tried and true piece of advice which is "Go with the flow or India will eat you alive," doesn't seem to be enough anymore. Not for them, or for me.

A fellow patient and friend of mine did an amazing job of putting together a logistical document with important information to prepare patients for the treatment. He organized it systematically like no one else I know could do (how to get a visa, where to shop once there, what vaccines to get, etc.). It’s perfect.

Now, I feel like it’s my turn.

I’m going to pull from all my inspiration, cheer leading, don’t-give-up e-mails and notes to patients and I’m going to put them together. There is a fine line in my mind between helping someone on their journey, and being too much a part of it. I am constantly cognizant of it and I will continue to be that way.

I feel intuitively like doing this writing will be my balance, between helping and stepping. I am so aware of how everyone’s life purpose leads them to learn lessons they must face alone. I also understand that going to a foreign country with foreign cultural views, away from your doctor and the world you know as a chronically ill person is one of the hardest challenges of a lifetime.

So, I’ll tread lightly with my new mission and make sure to leave plenty of room for each patient to find their own way too. I’m going to think of this as myself just being a few footsteps ahead on a path. You know, someone who has discovered what’s ahead, but more importantly has the 20/20 to see what’s behind.

When I visualize it in my head, it kind of reminds me of running down the hall in the house ahead of your houseguests to flip the light on for them. They’d find their way if you left them alone, but a little brightness can go a long way.

*I am not going to post the document publicly, but if you'd like to be on the list to receive it, please contact me at editor@healthcarehacks.com.

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About amybscher

With a passion for the little things in life, a former 'career' as a pioneering patient, and a sassy spirit with just enough sweetness to get me by, I live by my self-created motto: when life kicks your ass, kick back.amybscher's profile amybscher's blog